Four.
Four months.
Four limbs. Four tiny limbs. “Are they perfect?” Mary thought. “What does a God baby look like anyway? And what about the whole ‘Thou Bethlehem’ thing? We’re in Nazareth. I don’t understand. I’m so confused.
Joseph had spoken publicly of his continued betrothal, but had not taken her into his home. The ceremony had yet to take place, but it was getting awkward around town. As she neared the halfway point of her pregnancy, there was no hiding the growing Life inside her.
Walking in the marketplace, she felt the stares, heard the whispers behind cupped hands. How could she have slipped so fast from good girl to loose woman? Her parents were no help. Why didn’t the angel visit them? In all of Nazareth, even in her own family, no one believed her but Joseph. And he wasn’t with her. She was alone. She was afraid.
She felt so guilty when she had these thoughts. Hadn’t the angel visited her? Wasn’t Aunt Beth’s confirming word enough? Didn’t she trust the Source of Joseph’s dream about her?
“Nothing is impossible with God.” She remembered the angel’s words four months, a lifetime, ago. And she knew that she had not slept with Joseph, had not slept with any man. And she knew she was surely pregnant. Wasn’t that the impossible?
“No, the impossible right now is me trusting,” she grumbled to herself. “My faith is weak, weak, weak.”
She struggled to her feet and wound her way out the back door, through the farmyard, and into the pasture beyond. Climbing to the top of a low hill, she leaned against a large oak and looked toward the horizon, seeing Nazareth, full of doubting, weak, stumbling people. People just like her.
Looking to the brilliant blue above, she cried out,”See me, Father? Help me, Father! Why me, Father?”
She waited, listening. A brisk breeze rustled the leaves above her. “I am!” A Voice whispered, “Walk on!” Her rapid heartbeats slowed, her rasping breaths calmed, her tumbled thoughts stilled, her spirit steadied, she smiled.
Today we wander erratically through our lives, letting circumstance and society around us destroy our faith. We hope and pray for the big miracle, the big blessing, not realizing that God waits patiently for us to realize that the biggest miracle is waiting on the inside, the inside of us.
“No, nothing is impossible with God.” She thought. “Not with His Son and not in my spirit.”