Jun 212015
 

Father's DayDavid, accomplished poet,brave warrior, brilliant military leader, was a failure! Yeah, you heard me! Father’s day and I’m starting a rant? We’ll, let’s take stock.

Michal, Ahinoam, Abigail, Maakah, Haggith, Abital, Eglah, Bathsheba. That’s a list of David’s named wives! There were many more that are not named in the Bible. Let’s remind ourselves of God’s plan for families.

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 NIV.

This oft-quoted text is a hanging sentence! It starts with “That is why”. In other versions, “For this reason”. What reason? What why? As usual, context is everything. Let’s try this text again.

But for Adam no suitable helper was found.  So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:20-24 NIV.

Ah yes. God made two from one, and His plan was for two to become one again. This is where it all starts, guys. Let’s see what happens with David, distracted and unfaithful husband, weak and permissive father.

Bathsheba, wife of a decorated officer. David had an affair with her, covered it up and murdered her husband. Her first son died in infancy,her second son was Solomon.
Amnon, David’s firstborn, from his second wife Ahinoam, raped his half sister Tamar, sister of Absalom who was the third son and son of Maakah, a foreigner. Absalom had Amnon murdured to avenge his sister. Absalom staged a military coup and was murdered by Joab, David’s general.

Adonijah, the fourth son, born by David’s fourth wife, staged a political takeover.

Here’s what the Bible says about Adonijah.

His father had never rebuked him by asking, “Why do you behave as you do?” He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom. 1 Kings 1:6 NIV.

Solomon, second son of Bathsheba and seventh named son of David was put on the throne by a bedridden David to compete with Adonijah. Solomon had Adonijah executed, had hundreds of wives,  and supported idol worship including child sacrifice.

What a mess! I wonder what David’s Father’s Day was like? The Bible has a lot to say about the role of fathers and their effect on families and society.

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? Heb. 12.7 NIV.

The righteous who walks in his integrity- blessed are his children after him! Prov. 20.7 NIV.

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. Psalm 103:13 NIV.

In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge. Proverbs 14:26 NIV.

A Science Daily article states- “A father’s love contributes as much — and sometimes more — to a child’s development as does a mother’s love. That is one of many findings in a new large-scale analysis of research about the power of parental rejection and acceptance in shaping our personalities as children and into adulthood.”

I challenge wives and mothers- Celebrate the wins in your husband’s life at work or home, big or small. Find ways to encourage even the smallest right direction or good course correction we make.

I’m a sucker for my wife or daughters [and some others] when they say, “I need a strong, tall man to…”  Ladies, use that power for good...

Fathers, I challenge you, and me this Father’s Day –  Accept the powerful and eternal effect you have on your children, young or grown.

Let your children see your faith.
Let your children see your struggle.
Let your children see you treat women with honor, respect, and care.
Let your children see you love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it.
Let your children experience discipline in its truest sense- disciplemaking- helping them to follow the course you set.
Let your children see you model strength, grace, acceptance, and fierce, unstoppable love.

Whether you have children or not, whether your family is split, recombined, or nonexistant, God has a father role for you somewhere in your circle of influence.

This Father’s Day, men, don’t just enjoy whatever gifts and attention you receive, take some time in thought and prayer to consider your influence on the children all around you, in your family or not. You are the single most powerful human factor in their lives and for their salvation. Step Up!

-excerpted from sermon given June 12,2015.

Feb 242013
 

“The PR department does it all the time!”

“Suzie hit me first!”

I’m sure all of us have heard a coworker or a child… or even ourselves, justify behavior based on the actions of those around us. It’t’s a trait that is inherent to humans. Something about not wanting to be any better than we “have” to be. Whether it is part of your faith journey or not, the Bible contains powerful principles critical to life and living.

There’s a text in Ephesians that many of us men, secretly or maybe even publicly, love to quote. It goes like this:

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife.  Ephesians 5 NIV

Yeah. Well… we sorta stop there and conveniently don’t get to the text further down the page that says-

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

And yes, that does mean that when you use the porcelain meditation throne, you put the seat UP at the right time and put it back DOWN at the right time! If you’re not a husband or wife, don’t feel left out. I’ll find a text for you, too. While slavery is not as prevalent in this country in this century, do you ever feel that the term “involuntary servitude” could apply to you and your job? Then listen up.

Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, Ephesians 6

Did you notice the hint about your performance even when your boss isn’t watching? That covers a lot of territory doesn’t it?

Not a husband, wife or slave? Here’s the last one. Maybe this will fit:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Ephesians 6

Now, before you get too far off base about abuses at work, modern roles in marriage, and so on, that’s not where I’m going with this. In fact, how you relate to roles you feel are not ideal, that’s what I want to dig into. Do you ever feel like not obeying your parents because they aren’t fair, they don’t treat you as an adult, they ask too much of you? Did you notice that the text didn’t say,”obey your parents when it seems reasonable and fair”? No. God’s reason in this text is simple…”for this is right”. That’s it. Simple. Direct. No qualifications or excuses.

If you feel at least one hackle starting to rise, comb it back down. Let’s think about this for a minute.  Focusing on what’s fair, giving as good as you get, not doing anything that “they” haven’t already done to you, these are all justifications for joining in a never ending spiral of negativity that causes heartbreak in homes and joyless jobs.

Words and actions whose whole justification is “for this is right” often don’t seem fair.  This philosophy was promoted by a leadership guru two thousand years ago. Jesus Christ.  No matter that the concepts were spoken in different culture and time, this philosophy still works. I dare you to try “for this is right” today.

May 232010
 

What about grace is cheap!

Cheap Grace! I was involved in a discussion recently that was focused on higher behavioral standards for youth. It involved penalties for infractions. I felt impressed to share some thoughts on making sure that when youth make mistakes, we spend as much or more time on redemption than on punishment.  I struggled to keep calm when one individual countered by mentioning the term “cheap grace”. In other words, we can’t be “soft” on crime.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, in his book The Cost of Discipleship, makes the following powerful statement. “cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline. Communion without confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ.”

Grace is NOT cheap! Grace is horribly costly. Grace is a bloody wrist laid on a huge wooden beam by choice. Grace is the sight of blood shooting in the air as the radial artery is severed. Grace is in the sound of a large nail scraping beteen bones as it is pounded into that beam. Grace is messy. Grace is the gift of salvation given freely and willingly to us. Grace is NOT cheap.  Grace cost the Son of God His life. Grace is defined, not by us, but by the Giver.

Grace. Can’t earn it. Don’t deserve it.

He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. Titus 3:5

Does the gift of grace mean that there are no rules, no law? Of course not. How do we see that we don’t measure up? By comparing ourselves against the the law of God’s love. The law that Jesus summarized as love for God and love for each other.

But where sin increased, grace increased all the more,  Romans 5:20

God’s answer for sin? The more I sin, the more grace He pours on me.  His gift is not just about buying me back, but about being willing to live in me and change me from the inside out so that I look more and more like His Son.  Yes, my Father loves me too much NOT to correct me when I stray. But when He does, His arms are around me and He never lets me go.

Cheap grace? Cheap gift? In defense of the commenter I reacted to at first, there might be cheap grace. Not from the Giver. His gift of grace is constant and costly. Only we can make it cheap by tossing it aside and not accepting it. Let us relate to each other with loving grace, regardless of how our actions will be received, regardless of whether our love is “deserved” or whether it will be returned. Just like our Father does with each one of us.

And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace. Romans 11:6

shared 5/22/10